The night AJ passed away we received a folder full of information compiled by the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Program at Meriter Hospital. In it were brochures and booklets on a range of topics for parents in our situation – selecting a funeral home, tips for family and friends, physical care considerations, the grieving process, and support groups for bereaved parents. Would you believe there is even a northwoods Wisconsin retreat for bereaved couples (see http://faithslodge.org/) – something the two of us have talked about taking advantage of around this time next year. All of these wonderful resources were made available through the strength of other parents that came before us and experienced a similar loss. Knowing that, alone, was comforting. The resources, themselves, have been invaluable. Together with the love of family and friends, we have everything we need to move forward one little step at a time. But who is taking care of the doctors and nurses that are taking care of us? This, we wondered, after talking with one of the OB/GYN residents that was with us that night. She was there in the birthing suite while we were laboring; she comforted Jeff when an emergency C-section became necessary and they wheeled me into the OR; she sat with him after AJ was born and before I had woken up; and she visited us every morning in the hospital to check my incision, talk, and give hugs. As you might imagine, she was struggling with the loss as well. During one of our conversations, the young doctor remarked that this experience was shaping what kind of doctor she would become.
Experiencing loss is a part of life. It is also part of being a doctor. There are no textbooks or classes that can prepare our doctors for the inevitable loss of a patient under their care. Do they have access to the support they need? It must be discouraging when such intense emotions are part of what it means to be a doctor. And yet it would be a tragedy, we think, to lose someone with superior knowledge, skill, and bedside manner to another line of work.
For this reason, we have contacted the UW-Madison OB/GYN Residency Program and will be working with them to arrange for something that supports the residents in Honor of AJ. Monetary gifts (should you like to make one) may be sent to us at our home address (please e-mail us at dewitt.jeffnicole@gmail.com if you need our mailing address). Once arrangements have been made, we will be sure to get in touch to let you know specifically what your contribution helped make possible.
